New Year...and a blank piece or peace?

I reviewed my 2012 goals today, it was pleasing, cathartic even...in what has been the hardest of years for me. However, I was both pleased and surprised at what I had achieved and held onto in the face of adversity. The only loss I felt was not continuing to express myself in writing. And the loss was created by outside influences. Others... So, 2013...a time to not be put off by others, whoever they may be. Inspired by a quote, here is to 2013... "For better or worse, he was my soul mate. The other half of me. In many ways he was my reflection"... And my reflection goes on...

..my dreams are bursting at the seams

...everything is never what it seems ;)

...colourtastic

...what time is this?

I am made of beliefs and not barriers

I am made of many, not one

I am made of all the days you don’t see, not just the one you do

I am made of everything to come not just what has been

'Stolen' from Asics Advert

The words above reminded me of something I heard earlier this week, that we are part of His-Story.  God's Story.

Kairos is the "fullness of time," God’s time zone.

Kairos time conveys notions of unboundness, of fluidity, of God’s purposes intersecting and overruling this finite world of chronological time.

Kairos refers to opportunity, as it represents "the arena of man’s decision on his way to an eternal destiny"

...whimsical?

Love is like a butterfly

A rare and gentle thing



...wondering about wandering

It’s interesting that just when I wonder whether God is talking to me,  I wander into His presence and nothing becomes something.

Bizarrely and randomly this evening I was confronted by an image of a Harlequin Mime Artist.

1. It is so dreadfully uncool and fills my memories or Arena posters from the 1980’s.

2. If you don’t remember Arena then perhaps you won’t get me.

Large images of Harlequin Pierrot suddenly filled my mind and made me wonder how such a strong outward appearance and image managed to hide the pain that the Pierrot always expressed. The face was expressionless often, except one perfect tear.

Whilst the body language, dance and music would express a whole load of emotion the Pierrot’s face remained set.

I wonder how often I go through life with one face on the outside, whilst experiencing another on the inside? Or how my actions belie my real state of emotions and I’m left wondering when or if others will notice this without the Pierrot mask cracking? And what will happen if the Pierrot mask does crack, what will be revealed, will the pieces fit back together again and if they do will they look the same?

The Pierrot tried to communicate everything through mime and dance as if a glass screen separated their physical & vocal being from those who were viewing the scene. Shouting does not cut through and large expansive movements do not convey the subtlety of the human condition.

So next time you look at me…or another, imagine there is sound proof glass between us. Can you pick up on the small movements, can you feel the emotion beyond the unchanging expression and can you hear what is being said without words?

If not, why not?

...lamenting

Psalm 55:4-8

The Message (MSG)

 ^4-8 My insides are turned inside out;
      specters of death have me down.
   I shake with fear,
      I shudder from head to foot.
   "Who will give me wings," I ask—
      "wings like a dove?"
   Get me out of here on dove wings;
      I want some peace and quiet.
   I want a walk in the country,
      I want a cabin in the woods.
   I'm desperate for a change
      from rage and stormy weather.