...what are you missing

This thought occurred to me as I was cooking dinner tonight. I was recreating a recipe that isn’t enjoyed by everyone in my family and so a dish I only cook sporadically. As I was stirring the contents in the pan, I realised how luxurious the sauce looked, the smell reminded me of a rare ‘treat’ and all my senses wanted to enjoy and consume the creation.

It made me wonder how often we allow our senses to engage with life’s experiences and if not, how much of life we miss?

It made me consider what we each hold as entitlements in life – things we expect from life and God because we work hard, because we deserve it, because we sacrifice it… and in the ‘pursuit’ of these, what is it we miss?

So my ‘rare’ cookery creation would never be something on my ‘missing’ list but life goes by so quickly that maybe we should each have a missing list. Things that we are not willing to compromise on? They may not be ‘entitlements’ but a fulfiment of self, as promised by God. Is this even realistic?

How do we know what God wants for us individually? Well the Bible outlines God’s promises and requirements for each of us as His followers. But the reality is we are Human and fallible. How do we decipher which bits God is shouting at us about, where He leads us - with full visual glory, with an experience that smells like a treat, that we can almost feel….almost…unless we get it wrong.

It’s much the same as a negotiating workshop I took part in at work this week. We were asked to imagine what it would feel like if the outcome were not as we wanted? How would that help influence our part in the negotiation process? What were our Must Haves? What would be on our Wish List and what would we give as Concessions?

Our Must Have’s need to be the promises that God gives us throughout the Bible. The bible is inspired by God so therefore is true, that God has plans for us, that within Him is our rest, that He will supply all our needs that we are forgiven and we will be saved. Amen

So our Wish List maybe more about our individuality within God’s promises? Maybe the road remains the same but it is the journey that changes?

For example, we could each take the same car journey but each one would be unique. We would each have individual choices on what route to take, whether we choose to drive quickly or slowly. Would you want to observe the scenery and weather outside or would you be more interested in the internal surrounds and company in the car. What would you want on your life journey wish list?

And finally what would you be willing to make Concessions on?

What are you really willing to miss out on? Given just one life…

And are you sure your Concessions are those that God has too and have you even checked God’s Must Have List?

...express yourself

I started writing this blog yesterday. It began with a sudden prompting of the song by pop Queen & Icon Madonna, as is often my train of thought. I frequently zone in on a word or phrase – heard, sung or spoken. It often resonates too much for me to leave alone and sometimes needs a bit more clarity and inspiration from God.

Yesterday I was thinking too much and trying too hard on my own to craft something... it felt like hard work and I wasn’t happy with the way it felt – it really just wasn’t me…so I left it. And thank goodness, or my thanks and worship go to God, firstly for inspiring me but then interceding to tell me to ‘stop’.

Whilst reflective, my blogs are mainly just a form of expression for me – although I hope that sometimes others may randomly find what I have written and are also inspired, moved or provoked. Because that is what life is about – an exciting journey to behold each and every day. Where will it go? None of us truly understand – as the ripple effect of ourselves and our actions will almost certainly never be fully known.

So how we express ourselves could have quite a profound effect on another or others. It’s how others interpret much of who we are.

My inspiration around expression of self was reignited today as I briefed a colleague on how I wanted something to look but feel at the same time. When seeing, touching and feeling what I required would evoke a real sense of connection. Wow…exactly the same inspiration I had started with a day earlier but suddenly bang in focus for me, as I explained it to another, I realised what I had been trying to express before.

So maybe thinking about how we express ourselves through words – spoken or written is perhaps not the best starting place. We can be too pompous or clever and they require us to maybe use just two of our senses – visual and/or audible. And God doesn’t see us that way – so maybe we should find other ways to think about how we express ourselves and how others decipher all of who we are.

So maybe you will never want to share this thought process with others but if you had to choose an object expresses who you are? You may want to get into the granular descriptive detail, thinking about how that object looks, feels, sounds, smells and tastes. It’s quite a tall order, so you may not find one object that includes all the senses but a handful of items may really encompass who you really are – the true expression of yourself.

My prayer is that this would be some of the facets of self that many others already see and experience within us but using this method you might be able to find the nuances of self, that deeply express subtleties that others may easily miss in you. Or those that are hidden deeply within you but that you feel are truly at the heart and soul of who you are and that you would really like others to see and connect with.

I am really excited to give this idea more thought and to come up with a handful of objects that really define me, because perhaps this might be a little of the way God understands the uniqueness that is me or indeed you.

...a-Maze-d



...ssshhhh

In silence what do you do? What is your natural default position?

To feel oppression from the lack of noise closing in or a sigh of relief that sounds have stopped?

Most of the time we each have a natural default – the way that we are created but additionally our preferred space can also be dictated by mood.

My natural default to silence is to breathe it in, to absorb it and to be still within that space. It feels rare, unique and special and a sense that within the silence there is something to behold.

Beholding the silence, what do I mean?

Perhaps savouring the opportunity, to experience it deeply within our souls. Allowing the faint echo of that sound, to reverberate its way into our consciousness…thinking and feeling. So that being in the same ‘silent’ space as another is simply not experienced in the same way. So that our individual translations of what is within the silence and what it means to us, can be uniquely interpreted.

For me, silence comes with the natural desire to breathe deeply. Silence fills my mind and soul, while the nothingness of the air around me permeates my being. Calming my spirit and slowing my speeding mind.

So as our conscious spirit slows we have the time to let other thoughts and emotions breathe. We can live and experience that which is normally crushed out of our lives. The being and not the doing.

Silence without vision can be even more evocative. Isolating our senses individually and learning to experience the value each brings to our lives is something I have never done. The ability to experience life through sight, sound, touch, smell and taste is a true blessing but I wonder how frequently we have ever thought to isolate our senses and experience them singly and afresh.

As well as words silent or unspoken – prayer can also be expressed through any of our senses. In fact words are often not enough to truly express the deepest emotions of our hearts. What God knows and experiences in us, what He calls us to share with Him and yet what we often so feebly utter.

So in the absence of appropriate expression, silence is often the best I can do.

With an open heart God can commune with us in the space and vacuum that life normally consumes.

…ssshhhh

…what do you feel and how can you experience sensations anew today?

...be affirmed

We are each physically brought into this world alone and equally leave in the same manner but God understands that our life on earth should be lived in communion with others. God is a God of relationship – being made in His image, God like man requires connection with His creation and it’s important that we experience the same.

So, isn’t finding time and space to be truly alone somewhat of a paradox if we believe in God?

We can each be alone with God but never deserted – even if we have deserted God.

Often in our crowded lives and minds, the desire to be alone can be overwhelming – however on reading the quote below I began to wonder how much of who we are would exist in the silence of being alone?

“We don’t exist unless there is someone who can see us existing”

Is our existence for the sake of God and for others whom our lives interact with? To be created to be alone, what meaning would that have? What sense of existence would we each have? And why exist at all?

The word "existence" comes from the Latin word existere meaning "to appear", if we were only to appear to ourselves how, what or who could affirm that for us?

Our existence and identity is affirmed by others around us. So, I wonder how much our individual existence is a reflection of our social environment (others seeing our existence) vs. the natural and unique character God created us to be.

Existing as a part of others lives can sometimes feel frustrating, limiting, suffocating – as an employee within an organisation or maybe as a family member. So much of our existence is shaped by those around us, reflecting how others want us to appear or to be.

Existing outside of these conventions would require real confidence or maybe a real lack of wisdom to exist just as we wanted, come what may. Perhaps that is how the itinerant and dispossessed feel. A lack of existence – not seen or heard and outside of social convention.

For some inner energy comes from people being around them and others maybe need to spend time alone. In either scenario we can be sure that we are never truly alone or created to be - as we exist for and with God, our creator.

So use your existence today to encourage and share yourself and all that you have been created to be with those God has placed in your life – as Paul’s in Acts 20: 31, 36-38. You can only gather others around you by giving yourself away to them.

 

...Mon âme

Mon âme a son secret, ma vie a son mystère;
Un amour éternel en un moment conçu;
Le mal est sans espoir, aussi j’ai dû le taire,
Et celle qui l’a fait n’en a jamais rien su.

...the eyes have it

"The eye speaks with an eloquence and truthfulness surpassing speech. It is the window out of which the winged thoughts often fly unwittingly. It is the tiny magic mirror on whose crystal surface the moods of feeling fitfully play, like the sunlight and shadow on a still stream."

...outside of the lines

It’s an intriguiging thought to me – colouring between the lines, building a sandcastle with a bucket and following school rules vs. freeform.

What is it about rules that are more sensible? Is it because more people are convinced to follow them?  And if so, why?

One of my earliest memories at school was a scribble challenge with my best friend. We both had a school book to read and we dared each other to desecrate the other book with a pencil. Why? Because we shouldn’t, because the following actions were unknown, new and fresh.

My best friend was a boy …not sure what that says…if anything.

So what do lines in life say to you?

Are you the type who waits behind the red traffic light line…or who creeps forward as the light turns to amber? Or at school sports day, would you be the runner edging to get away at the starting gun or perhaps looking over at your classmates desk to cheat at the weekly spelling test?

So what is in or outside of the lines for you?

How does it feel when you are told to colour in the lines, do you like the instructions and control? If you accomplish the rules do you feel a sense of pride? Or do the lines make you feel constricted and restrained?

How does life feel for you?

Biblically we are set quite firm guidelines, no matter how much we cross reference, the basics remain unchanged. So does God give us room to colour outside of the lines?

We are all given the opportunity to repent – so the answer is Yes. What about if we know the lines and yet we still stray? Well, we have the opportunity to truly repent until our final breath, except we don’t know when that will be. But what if our stray into unknown ‘territory’ is God’s plan to get us back on track? How do we truly know or discern God’s will?

Peace is the answer.

We each need to seek and hear God within the lines and patterns we create in our lives. Often these boundaries can be created out of a sense of duty or normality. Following the pattern and lines of the lives that go before us or the friends that create their lives around us.

The clock ticks…

The patterns persist…

Your lines, God’s lines are unique…follow them and be brave enough to step out of the black and white.

They may take a lifetime to understand but if you listen and follow, they will make you truly happy.

...patterns

Patterns are part of our lives whether we feel the desire to rebel or not.

Our world has been created with a season or pattern for most things. Night follows day, winter follows summer and our lives have a pattern from birth to death. However, we each have the ability to influence the patterns and details of our lives don’t we? But what if we believe that God has a pattern and plan for our life created from the very beginning?

Patterns, shapes, forms are a part of me – how I see and interact with the world. I never simply see what is in the foreground but also see what is around and behind that. What animate shapes can I see within inanimate objects and what shapes and patterns does the space around a form create. Seeing the background is often as important to me as the main feature, the subtle, the hidden, the mistakes…

And I think this is how I feel about life too…

A pattern or blueprint is all well and good – God had a blueprint for creating mankind but I wonder how much our individual uniqueness is our own deviance from God’s pattern or whether our wondering from the pattern is also part of God’s plan?

To me patterns, blueprints and plans initially seem dull…

My immediate reaction to following a pattern is a sense that I am creating something that is not unique or individually crafted into being. The roughly hewn clay pot that contains the fingerprints of the creator that you can see and touch, feels more real than the fine china pottery that is meticulously and precisely produced to a set pattern.

Discarding the ‘less than pattern-perfect’ even extends to the deselection of fruit and vegetables that don’t conform to the supermarkets rigid patterns of accepting standards.

God may well have created patterns within our lives and our world but the free will we are each given enables us to have the freedom to explore and be creative. Perhaps to explore and become the best example of our own blueprint.

Biblically we know that Jesus was certainly not the blueprint King that God’s people expected. And whilst we know that Jesus spent time in prayer, I wonder how prescriptive God’s pattern for Jesus’ life was? Surely to experience life in all its human frailty, Jesus also needed to create, see and recognise his own life patterns?

So maybe a pattern can be a good starting point but by finding the time to explore what is not in front of our eyes, to look for a pattern where none should exist or in looking beyond the foreground, an all together different pattern might emerge.

Learn to appreciate the less than perfect patterns and in creating the You that God desires, don’t be scared to occasionally draw outside of the lines.

...siren all at sea

...to question

Do you love?

Do you need love?

...an impression or an imprint?

I love words and what they convey, or not. I love how words have a common meaning that enable us to vaguely understand each other. I guess if I didn’t love words, I wouldn’t be writing a blog and I wouldn’t be trying to express my thoughts and feelings in this way.

However I’ve been interested by what impression or imprint my words leave on myself and those who may come across this blog, because impressions and imprints are important. Sometimes in life we don’t know how we affect others and perhaps others themselves don’t truly know or understand that either. But to know our impression or imprint how cool would that feel?

So to start, I wondered about the difference between an impression and an imprint? And if I could or had to choose, which of these would I or maybe you, like your life to be?

For me an impression is fleeting, an essence that is captured in a specific moment, that may never be the same again. It’s something that is created to be interpreted just at that time – as with Impressionism. Art that captured light in a landscape at just that moment, creating a sense and feeling that could make the viewer feel that scene would never entirely be seen in the same way ever again. Unique?

There are times in life when we may be told or tell ourselves to “make a good (first) impression” – perhaps as we go for a job interview, or meet some-one new. For me this feels like creating something, back to the 19^th century paintings. Portraying or revealing an image of you that may never be quite the same again, something that cannot be replicated.

So maybe my words may have done that for you…had a fleeting impression…

On the other hand making an imprint is that more significant?

An imprint sounds more determined, something that is undertaken with more conviction. Something that intends to be lasting. To print is to make an indelible mark; I’m back to artistic analogies again without even meaning to be. So is an imprint the indelible mark that we make and leave? It sounds incredible that we each can have the ability to leave an imprint – I don’t think I want to leave something physically indelible like an invention but to imprint another’s life in some way, now that feels unique.

In terms of my faith, I’m pretty sure that if Jesus had a mandate as the son of God, it wouldn’t have included making an impression – let alone a good impression. Jesus is not fleeting and what He portrays has been and is the same now as it was 2000 years ago. Jesus’ imprint however remains indelible across the centuries and certainly in my life.

My imprint is of course less significant, however I do want to thank those who have encouraged me as they have made a real imprint on my life knowingly or unknowingly and maybe on the lives of others if they ever find and read this blog.

If not, it’s my space and my imprint…

...communication problems

What does the word Communication mean to you?

I was pondering this thought recently when in an extreme & harsh geographical environment. It occurred to me that now, perhaps more than ever in our fast, high tech world we can communicate and be connected to almost anyone, anywhere in the world at any time. Communicating verbally by mobile or satellite connection, through high speed worldwide internet space - typing, talking, seeing. But this made me wonder whether any of these methods actually make us any better at communicating with each other?

Have you ever received a text message where the communication was ‘lost in translation’? Or an email where the communication had one meaning and the recipient interpreted in an entirely different way? In our urgent fast moving world we seem to have lost the nuance of communication. Speed and urgency have replaced subtle facets and in removing these we often get it wrong or miss the real essence of what is being ‘said’ or meant.

Often we say one thing and actually mean something entirely different –body language can convey so much more than words. So in a world of noise and speed it feels ever more important to continue to develop the subtleties of communication – this could be deciphering a look, understanding a touch, hearing what is not being said or simply being and listening in a space with another.

Using non verbal or written communication feels like a real challenge but something we should all try to do more of. It makes us work harder to focus on others and tune into physical signals. How can your eyes communicate? What about your breathing, speed of movement, consciously think about communicating only in these ways and see how perceptive others around you are. Equally try shutting out the noise and really see and sense what others around you are communicating. Discard the obvious and try to perceive what is not being spoken.

There are occasionally people in our lives who we can be in silence with. Who we sense and understand, with the absence of words. Communication of mood, thought and emotion through a real sense of non verbal but intense physical connection, helping us to understand, ‘hear’ and communicate more effectively.

So in a world where God is increasingly marginalized, where we don’t look, see or hear perhaps one of the only ways to really communicate is to slow down, be and physically hear what is not being said.