...lost?

Being lost…exciting or scary? Intended or random?

I guess no one situation is the same but the feelings, coping mechanisms and outcomes are often all possible from the one scenario. Right? Or maybe a multitude of scenarios are possible, each dependant on individual reactions and the domino effect therein.

This occurred to me at the weekend when I was walking with a friend. We had a map…should we follow it? And to what extent? If we used the map some of the time and surroundings/instinct for the rest, how different would that feel? And if we completely abandoned written information and completely went with our instincts would we feel more lost or not?

All of the above comes down to being in control. To knowing, understanding and meeting expectation. So having a map, following a route and arriving on time is not perhaps the most inventive or exploratory way of doing things. Following a plan meets an intended resolution but what is learnt along the way?

For us, on our walk..we realised early on that our map reading skills were rusty. But despite this we were able to use other skills taught and observed. We mostly followed the intended route; we occasionally wandered and overall arrived back as anticipated.

But life isn’t always to that pattern and frequently getting lost is just what we want.

I remember as a child, trying to get lost from my mother in a major supermarket. Why is that? Perhaps the sense of separation, that we are each unique individuals. Each capable of asserting ourselves, no matter what age. Having lost my Mother what would I have done? I’m sure I would have enjoyed the brief moment to just be me.  To see what was important to me in that context and to feel the freedom be it short lived and remorseful for the parental anxiety I would have caused.

So trying to get lost and be lost is not always as easy as it sounds.

What is it about being lost that feels liberating? For me it includes the sense of adventure, of misdemeanour and fear of the unknown. Each requires a response from me, it requires me to be alert and to react…I feel alive. And sometimes I want to lose myself in that experience. I want to be alone, to feel isolated to learn afresh how I can cope. Visually I can see this so much better than I am describing and maybe you can too. I can feel my aloneness, I can see where I am and my physiology is real.

There are many biblical examples of individuals being lost and whilst each is individual, each of course relies on the living God. Maybe to deliver and answer through a vision – Joseph and his dreams or maybe Moses and the burning bush to name just two or to prompt us each to depend solely on prayer. As Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane or on the Cross calling to the Father.

When we are truly lost we have to rely on what is outside of ourselves, what can only be answered through prayer, discernment and trust.

Let us not judge what that might be; for we can only gain what is truly ours by losing our earthly expectations and inhibitions.