...in the fog

Fog is one of those almost magical and mystical weather conditions, that brings a sense of other-worldliness with it.

A sense that almost anything could happen – films and novels with intrigue and suspense often include scenes with fog. For the voyeur or reader what is in front of them is unknown and more than that they may not see, hear, feel or discover ‘it’ until ‘it’ is right upon them. The fog is a veil, it conceals and it creates an ideal hiding place.

I was reminded of these feelings this week as we experienced fog for a few days in a row. As I drove what is usually a familiar and clear road ahead, in the fog needed more care. All that I usually take for granted seemed veiled in the unknown. At some points I could begin to make out what was in front of me but at others the whiteness even made me wonder whether I was actually travelling or not. A bizarre twist on the senses of movement and sound but without clear vision.

The fog stirred in me the struggle with discerning life’s ‘true’ course. How much is really concealed or how much is me not wanting to see?

It made me remember and reconsider advice that a friend had given to me and that I have been trying to reconcile with my understanding & beliefs. The thought that a unifying promise is a commitment, which would have begun with a catalyst – it may have begun with excitement but as time goes by the promise maybe maintained by will and habit. You may no longer like the promise or yourself for agreeing to it but the commitment remains.

In amongst the maelstrom of my metaphorical fog the question remains, ‘what if the promise made wasn’t what God wanted, that it wasn’t His call’?

My understanding is that Jesus perhaps only experienced happiness, joy, fulfilment and love because He listened and lived according to God’s call. So what is more important, an earthly promise that we might ask God to agree to and bless or listening to His call?

Often I feel like one of the disciples on the road to Emmaus and as you know by now, my road has fog too! It took the disciples time to see and hear Jesus in their midst. Yet He was there, walking amongst them for around 7 miles on a long dusty road and broke bread with them on their arrival at supper time too. It was then that their fog cleared.

Despite my inability to see and discern, I know God is in the fog on my road to Emmaus and I am seeking to discern Him in my ongoing struggle with answers to questions that I just don’t fully comprehend or maybe want to understand.

So, Promise vs. Call?

My prayer is to really see the Light, it might take more than 7 miles but Jesus is journeying with me and you too and our fog will clear.