...gazing

As I grew up I became aware that my eyes were probably my best feature. It was the one part of me that people frequently commented on. The intensity of them, the dark chocolate colour and the mesmerising impact that my gaze had on others.

Most children want to receive praise in some shape or form and having cute, entrancing eyes was the characteristic that wrapped my Dad round my little finger, that stopped teachers in their tracks when telling me off and ensured a constant stream of boys as friends from the start of primary school.

However with adolescence comes the paradox of wanting to stand out and yet blend in all at the same time. If I think back I know it was at that point that I became self conscious, concerned that my eyes would be the part of me that made an impact and made others see me, just as I wanted to blend in.

It was from that point on I started to look up less and look downward more. I became concerned and fearful that my eyes would betray my emotions and that others would be able to see through me. See my desire, see my fear and challenge me back with their eyes…and with their gaze.

So I learnt to keep my gaze to myself as much as I could, to be less permeable.

However as I think about this now I can see how my ability to gaze has shaped who I am and my interactions with others.

Gazing is not just about day dreaming or simply seeing or looking. There is something about it that resonates deeply with who I am and enables others to connect with me too. Connection happens on an emotional and spiritual level – gazing is the gateway to my soul and occasionally allows me to access deeply into the heart of others too.

As I gaze I’m aware that it’s about discerning what I see, about understanding at a deeper level than just the surface visual signals. There is a sense of being transfixed while the discernment takes place, amazement at what signals can be gleaned and the perception of emotions conveyed without words or even touch.

I’m also conscious that for those who connect with me that holding my gaze can remove all barriers. For those I allow access it is an opportunity to see into the heart and wholeness of who I am.

So, gazing is so much more than just looking and seeing.

Astronomers star gaze and yet it’s so much more than simply looking at objects in the sky. In the Bible the ‘Wisemen’ were eastern scholars who gazed at the sky for years, watching for a sign, understanding the meaning behind it and then acting on the wisdom their gazing revealed. And over 2000 years later their gazing continues to impact our world.

Christ also calls us to gaze on Him. That by keeping our gazed focused on Him that we will see God revealed.

So if you find yourself gazing today, stop and ask yourself what is revealed ...beyond just seeing.